As an INTJ I have a hard time handling situations that activate my fight or flight response. I can’t speak coherently and process my biological reaction at the same time. I rather stay in silence and deal with one thing at a time.
People think that this is a sign of victory. It isn’t. My opinion hasn’t changed. If a situation happens where I think that the other person is an idiot, my silence isn’t saying that you are not an idiot. All that it’s saying is that I can’t handle the body’s reaction to threats and say what I think without screwing one thing up.
Sometimes I stay silent as a sign of rebellion. Sometimes my silence is a reflection of the idea that the other person is an idiot and I am allowing them to remain idiots because they aren’t worth correcting. Sometimes my silence has to do with my not caring about the other person or the situation at hand. I won’t waste my time or energy on stupid people that don’t want to change.
When I get threatened as an INTJ, my physical reaction limits the amount of analytical thinking that I can do regarding the situation. I may sense patterns that prove my point and know that something is wrong, but I can’t articulate what is on my mind properly. That leads to mistakes… avoidable mistakes.
Once I am in a safe place, usually my home, I can process the event properly. I can validate being pissed. Or I can realize that I screwed up and that I have to change a particular behavior. I can be angry at a person properly and be able to articulate why. I can find who screwed up and who didn’t . I usually can understand that any situation has multiple sides and that the victim-perpetrator model isn’t applicable in most life situations. Usually everyone is at fault and innocent victims don’t really exist. Everyone is part of the problem.
When fight or flight gets activated, I know that speaking my mind fully leads to more problems than solutions. It’s inconvenient because I am usually right and that threatens them. It is more acceptable for them to show emotions than for me to show logic/emotions. It is acceptable for other people to shun me down because they can’t handle it when I show emotion. When I react to my fight or flight response by fighting. That is not fair.
I as an INTJ process being threatened internally, and it takes a while. It also takes a while to move on from it. No one has mercy. No one cares. Speaking up about this in my surroundings had the opposite effect.