When the idea of starting to look for a relationship with the idea of getting married starts becoming a good idea.

This is one of the most feared statements to admit. As an INTJ that projects an image of logic and not wanting a relationship, the idea that I might want to enter into that commitment of a relationship with the goal of marriage is… paradigm crushing. In my case, I have had certain issues that made me not want to enter a relationship. It wasn’t going to be fair to the partner, and it was going to cause both of us more harm than good. I love being free to do my own thing, to be my introverted self. I didn’t have an interest in getting married, anyway. Relationship… that I wanted, but it was for selfish reasons.

This question of whether it would be a good idea to be in a relationship isn’t new. I get confronted with it frequently. But it has only been recently, induced by my sister’s marriage, that I have taken more of a serious multi-dimensional look at this question.

I realized that, based on who I am and my spiritual path, I should consider the idea of getting married. I also realized that there are more factors that I have to consider when figuring out if I should start looking for a mate. Not just whether I was in a spiritual place where I was stable enough to look for a mate, but whether I could contribute evenly to the relationship. I concluded that I might not be ready for a relationship, much less a marriage, because I don’t have all of the arbitrary requirements to have a “successful” marriage.

For these reasons, I know that I am still not ready for marriage… but I am more willing to prepare for that possibility.


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