Stress is a well known bodily response for me. I, therefore, go through a lot of anxiety. I don’t always go through hard situations, but my response tends to be one of stress. A response that I don’t manage well. I, as an INTJ, keep everything inside. I choose not to externalize stress because of the need/desire to be cool, even though it means that my body feels the stress physically.
Recently, I have gotten through a significant amount of stress. I have had to make important decisions with regards to my future. All that stress that I was holding inside made me susceptible to a specific type of pain. Now I have to keep my propensity to get anxiety in check, calming myself down as need be.
I kept my feelings of anxiety to myself, because of a thought that it is a sign of weakness to show stress and not be calm. Now, I realize that my action of putting a facade of calm even in the midst of extreme stress has made me weak.
I know that something has to change. I can’t just keep the same habit of stress suppression. I have to find a way to release stress and really keep calm. I don’t know how to do it… not yet. Hopefully, God will help along the way.