What I learned in the failed mentorship dynamic.

In the last post, I wrote about an experience I had with an ex-mentee. To be honest, I decided to sensor what I thought because I didn’t want to speak ill about her or put her down in a harsh manner (even though she might never read this post… nor do I want her to). I felt that if I spoke about it I would regret it and be the evil person that I don’t want to stand for. The post was created to let emotions out at the time I was feeling them. This time, I want to write about what I learned.

  1. Being the mentor is not the same as being the mentee.
  2. A mentorship dynamic has to be consensual.
  3. The goals of mentorship has to be clear for the dynamic to be successful.
  4. Being a mentor means taking a stance that might make you uncomfortable at times.
  5. As a mentor, gaining and maintaining trust from your mentee is really important. 
  6. For a mentorship dynamic to be successful in church there needs to be support from church staff.
  7. The mentor has to be connected to God and receive guidance from the Holy Spirit in order to not screw up in the dynamic.
  8. Sometimes, no matter how well you try to be a good mentor, outside forces will screw with what you are trying to do. In those moments, letting go might be the best option.
  9. A mentor will suffer emotions as the mentee does. That should be acknowledged and be worked out in a healthy manner.
  10. Being a mentor is a responsibility that needs to be taken seriously because God takes it seriously.
  11. Being called to be a mentor from God is an indicator that God thinks that you are a spiritual adult ready for that task.
  12. I need to work on my character and my people dealing skills before I participate in another mentorship fail.
  13. The process of mentorship is as important, if not more, as the result.
  14. Mentorship requires a high level of leadership because it is about developing someone else’s potential. This is hard to do if one is not viewed as a leader in the organization where one serves.
  15. Being a mentor is a priviledge that should be appreciated while it last. If one “fails” as a mentor, it shouldn’t just be taken as a fail only but as a privilege to learn how not to mentor next time. 

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