Last night was an eye-opening experience. In analyzing it, and the inner thoughts that came along with watching the last night of the NBA season, I learned some important lessons.
- Family screw up can have a mayor effect on you. Last night, I saw the product of my father’s influence in me because he was the one who presented sports to my generation of kids. Yet I also could feel the effect of the influence from my mother and sister, who viewed the love of sports as something to hide from everybody.
- I have a mainly negative relationship with my past. My view of my past self is not healthy. I know that most people are ashamed of parts of their childhood and adolescence, but I am ashamed of my childhood legacy as a whole. My childhood is the manifestation of the clash between family imposition and personal preferences. I don’t like the person that I had to “be”, the compromises that I had to make, to survive my childhood with the minimum amount of conflict. With last night’s game, I felt the conflict between the long-lasting idea that my childhood is something to hide and the secret pride that I have for my love of sports, especially basketball: hiding my passion for sports has always won this conflict and has perpetuated my negative conflict with my childhood self.
- I am the best version of myself when I am around sports. Watching the last night of the NBA season, I was able to feel like the kid that loved watching basketball and was able to be as close to in the moment as my INTJ mind was able to muster. I experience the kid-like amazement that I thought that I had lost when watching awesome plays unfold on the TV screen. I realized that I am able to be fully myself when I engage in a sports oriented activity. My true nature comes out: the good and the bad. It is in this activity where I can properly evaluate myself and see what I should keep and what I need to work on (or not). I love what sports makes me feel: alive, myself, whole. I also love a sports-like environment because the interaction doesn’t involve talking (which is awesome for an INTJ).
- I shouldn’t be ashamed of everything in my childhood. Over the years, one of the things that suffered the most because of the conflict mentioned above is my love of sports. I had to hide my love for sports. For that reason, I missed reconnecting with this positive aspect of my childhood; with this internally cherished part of my childhood development. Last night made me see that maybe this impression is wrong. Maybe the right way to develop as a human and to go from one phase to the other is to take with you the good and leave behind the bad. NBA, and sports for that matter, were positively influential part of my childhood. Last night made me realize that I need to re-incorporate sports back in my life.
- Being an adult doesn’t imply giving up sports. I have this idea that closing chapters in my life means that I can’t revisit the good things of my past in future chapters. Last night, I learned that this idea is more detrimental to my health.
- My search for myself and my identity failed to include my love for sports and the game of basketball. Do I need to say more?
- God gave me a love for sports that have endured through the test of time. Or I think that this is how the saying goes. Through all of the negativity that have surrounded me from family and school with regards to my preferences for sports my love for sports and basketball haven’t died. Last night, I witnessed that first hand. It’s not a coincidence that I was exposed to sports. It was the healthiest part of my childhood and God knew how important it would be. So he needed to make sure that it was introduced to my life early, even if indirectly.