Decisions regarding mentoring.

Today I realized that the young person that I started mentoring in music might change churches. I am not against her going to another church, because I have no longer any real attachment to her. She was selfish as a mentee, but teenagers are selfish in nature in respect to mentorship and adoptive family relationships. I know that I was. She showed that she was willing to do anything, moral or immoral, to get what she wanted and wasn’t willing to go through any process to become a musician. I feel that I didn’t get any real support from the leaders around me that interacted with her (like the co-pastor incident, where he and his daughter wanted to take me out of the drums so that this young person could play by force). The only one that showed some positive attitude was my Pastor (which surprised me more than anything). This meant that in the last year whatever I did had no significant effect on her or the church culture. As a result of all this, I felt distance and felt that the mentorship could come to a premature end.

I know that God put in me responsibility for her progress in music under the context of mentorship, but I feel that once she moves churches my responsibility is over. I am aware of the real possibility that I am down a mentee. In hindsight, I tried to make things right. Whatever I did din’t work to the extent that I wanted to. I couldn’t fix things in time. I stopped being consistent as a effect of the sour taste that the co-pastor incident left in my mouth. I felt that it was better if I stopped doing anything to facilitate her becoming a musician because no one seemed to want that without taking me out of music. I felt that she was already to far gone for me to step in again.

Nothing about whether she will stop being a part of my church has been confirmed; it’s just suspected. Because I have a bit more knowledge than the average Christian in my church with respect to mentoring, I know that I shouldn’t allow for the moment of her parting without doing some closure-like interaction. Yet, I don’t know whether she’ll be up for it and I don’t think that it will have the desired effect. I want this interaction to be a review of what she learned, what happened right and what happened wrong, how could things be better in the future, and provide a sort of guidance to a path to take from there on. Because nothing in this mentorship was that structured, I worry that the idea that I have will not be taken as the attempt to close the mentorship appropriately but will be taken as a aggressive act. I know what is right, but I fear it being a failure.

Maybe the problem is my attitude. This is going on in my mind. No where else. I just have to wait and look at it from a different perspective.

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