INTJ Dating

I don’t know anything about dating in practice, because I haven’t dated.

What I can do is think about the word. What does dating actually mean? There seems to be two definitions:

  1. That you and whoever the other person is have moved on from being acquaintances/friends to something more partner-like.
  2. That you are in a phase of meeting potential partners and going through a series of probationary events to test for suitability. It’s a tryout for whoever wants to be your partner that passes through your filter.

Christian dating seems to fit the second definition, the first term refers to the actual tittle. Dating seems to be a selfish endeavor. You try out potential partners to see who fits, mostly without giving the other person’s feelings any real importance. Whenever I have done something even remotely similar to dating, I have been a dick about it. I only thought of myself.

I am resistant to dating because I don’t think it’s fair for the other person to be with me (someone like me is what is said but not what we mean).  I shouldn’t condemn another person to such evil, especially evil that never seems to come out when “dating”.

I seem to view dating and having a partner as a luxury more than as a need. To have someone else desire to be with you despite your crap is a privilege… and a responsibility to not screw them over in a ridiculous way. I don’t think that I’m ready for that. I don’t think that I’m deserving of that. I don’t think that I will ever be deserving or ready. Maybe dating is like God’s grace. Maybe it isn’t.

Because I have never dated, I don’t talk about it. This doesn’t count because this is typing, not talking. If I did ever date, I would try to make it as rational of a process as possible… because I’m an INTJ. I just had several thoughts on the subject and decided to write them down.


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