After I analyzed the bass player drum teacher thing, I had the feeling that I was doing something wrong in my analysis. Therefore, I have prayed to God to not allow me to have a conversation with the bass player of my church. I have decided to accept his offer of the drum teacher. Because of my analysis, I still have problem of my mentality going into it. I am rational enough to know that my empowerment mentality has it’s risk. I feel that I’m falling into a trap, a trap that I don’t want to fall into. I don’t want God to allow the bass player to bring up the topic of me taking drum classes because my reaction will not be Christ like… yet.
I still think that the bass player’s reaction is shady but his shadiness doesn’t justify mine. Repetitive, I know. I haven’t internalized it yet. I don’t feel empowered by this statement and I don’t feel that I have changed.
I hope that things become better in my mind, well enough to be able to handle this situation as I should.