First night of classes.

In my quest to get a doctorate degree in psychology, I had to enroll in a private university to take Social Psychology: the last prerequisite that I need to be considered for admission. Last night was the first night of classes. It felt weird because it was a while since I took classes at a university and felt the social awkwardness associated with interacting with other students. It was a new environment that I tried to navigate like a bad ass to hide that I was afraid to screw up.

In class, we were assigned to write the story of our life/who are we. Because the work wasn’t to hand in, I wrote it in English (note that in Puerto Rico the native language is Spanish). On top of that, I wrote it so that it would only make sense to me.

After all 8 of us finished writing on the topic assigned, the professor instructed us to read it. Everyone was internally resistant to reading their history, but I internally panicked because I wrote it in English. When it was my turn, I expressed the difference in language but the professor wanted me to read it as was written.

When I started to read it, I was kind of amazed that my English was as good as I was hearing. In Puerto Rico, unless you are lucky to have good English teachers or go to a English speaking school you really don’t learn English very well. I was lucky, to the point where I am asked whether I lived in the US.

I also felt shame when I read it, because I (as always) tend to go a very different route from the “My name is ____. I’m ___ years old. My father is ___ and my mother is ___….” I went based on my internal history of the quest for self knowledge and understanding of my surroundings. I wasn’t the only one that deviated from the “norm”, but I assume that was memorable because the professor made a reference to my participation later in class.

I had the impression that I shouldn’t worry too much about the difficulty of the class; that it was going to be easy in comparison to Natural Sciences and Master’s degree classes. That was calming. I was concern with the discouragement from the professor to study psychology, but if God wants me to go this route I should not worry about lack of positions for psychologists. God will provide.

This was just the first day. I don’t have a clear picture of what the class will be like. This is just a wait and see.


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