How I have wanted to celebrate holidays.

Holidays in Puerto Rico is from Thanksgiving Day until New Years. For an INTJ, that is a nightmare. For an INTJ that comes from a home where Holidays can be a time for a family World War, one wants to be as far away from the source of the War. Up to last year (2014) I had the mentality of celebrating Holidays with family like people, usually it was my sister-in-law’s family. This to me was torture because they are extroverted… and I’m not.

This year, especially post graduation, I have gotten lazy. Scratch that. I have actually rediscovered the awesomeness of being by myself. On Thanksgiving Day though, I went to my parents house to eat with my father and sister. At the end of the visit, I went to visit my mother in her room and I was confirmed my reason to not visit the house: she lives there and I must stay away. On this day, I decided to not spend another holiday there or with my sister-in-law’s family. I decided to spend the holiday alone in my house with some of my home cooking (which ain’t a lot, because I have a limited menu).

When Christmas came around, it was hard to say no to anyone. I was at Starbucks in the mourning. In the afternoon, I said no to my father, but I ended in my brother’s house because there was an offer of free food.

Christmas Day, I went to church in the mourning and in the afternoon slept… happily.

New Year’s Eve, today, I am home… alone. I usually go to Starbucks to enjoy the quietness, but today I woke up in pain and not feeling like torturing myself to my neighborhood Starbucks. I am eating from what I cook (try to cook). I feel good to be in a quiet environment where I can think and mentally prepare myself for tonight’s New Year’s church service. This service has been done with little preparation in the music front. For us, this service will be torture. I hope my father doesn’t call me to find out if I will join him for dinner, because I hate saying no to him.

New Year’s Day is 8 hours and 52 minutes from now and in my family it is not that big as New Year’s Eve. I will not feel the pressure to be with family. I hope that I can do what I feel and eat what I want, whether in my house or takeout.

Three Kings Eve: my other brother is coming from the US, so I don’t have much of a choice to be alone.

Because of how I am and because of my Christian dysfunctional family, I wanted to celebrate Holidays by myself. I did such an awesome job (sarcastic tone). My execution sucked. Maybe next year I will get it right.

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