How to compliment an INTJ.

INTJs suck at receiving compliments. If you find yourself wanting to compliment an INTJ, you should resist doing it. That theory that is in your mind that INTJs will receive compliments well is never going to happen in practice. It’s not in our nature. Deal with it in your mind!

Compliments tend to be superficial in nature. It’s usually about something that the INTJ wears or about some very superficial thing the INTJ does. That doesn’t fair well with the INTJ. This is how complimenting an INTJ usually goes.

Other Person: “I like your shirt!”

INTJ: “The company that made this shirt says thanks.”

Other person: “Hahaha. (Why cant INTJ take a compliment, for once?)

INTJ: (Awkwardness averted… I think.)

This is not a good experience for either side. It’s better to keep it to yourself.

There is a way to “compliment” an INTJ without it being seen as a compliment. It’s called giving feedback. It is more encompassing than a compliment and it is more accepted among INTJs. A compliment is only about “good” things (good things in your mind, which is not as morally correct as ours… 😉 ). A compliment is about expressing your perceptions about someone else’s actions and way of being, whether positive or negative. So if you really want to say something about an INTJ, use feedback instead of compliments.

There is only one problem with this theory: this only works if the INTJ thinks that the feedback is worth accepting: it is based on your worth as a person to the INTJ. If you don’t make the cut, the feedback won’t be accepted. We INTJs are very clear about who do we accept feedback from and from who do we not accept it from. It is based on who the person is and what they offer (and whether they are idiots). If you can’t see that your feedback  will not be accepted, you suck. If you have to question whether INTJs accept your feedback, odds are we don’t. Stop trying.

For those who’s feedback is accepted, this is a privileged position to have with respect to the INTJ. Don’t screw it up! Be honest with us. Don’t just keep the feedback at the positive side of the spectrum. Give the negative feedback as well. Don’t throw BS at us. We will see your BS and will label you an idiot for that. That can also get your privilege revoked.

In conclusion, how can you compliment an INTJ? By masking it as feedback.


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