Rehearsing big moments.

As an INTJ, I like to plan things. What I am going to say or text in an important moment is one of them. I think about it at least 10 times, maybe more depending on availability of time prior to the moment of truth. I think about the words, the pitch, my reaction while saying it, the other persons reaction to me saying it, and whether it will be effective.

I rehearse because it gives me the illusion that I know what I’m doing. Things like apologies and important announcements are not common for me to do and rehearsing them in my head allows the space to correct crappy deliveries. When I have given sermons in my church, I rehearse what I will say at least 5 times in order to shorten the time of the sermon to 35 minutes, to be able to sound as cool and intelligent as I know the material is, to plan how I will use my physical movements to aid in my sermon, to know what content will I associate the keywords that I put on my sermon’s outline, and how will I use the space in the altar to my advantage. I am an INTJ, preparation is key.

When I don’t rehearse big moments in my head, I screw up royally. I have failed many assignments as a student because of lack of planning. I have also felt that I have screwed many things in church because of lack of planning. Why? Because I suck at improvising. It’s not a developed part of my nature.

Don’t get me wrong, I have improvised before. It’s usually because I believe in the worth of improvising at that moment. It’s also done because have stock ideas in my head that I can pull out at will. But if left to choose, I prefer planning things out.

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