As an INTJ and a white personality, I am not a big fan of social conflict. If I can avoid being in a conflict situation I will run away from it. Life hasn’t been so accommodating. Experiencing social conflict has been normal for me. Most conflict is not caused by me directly. Most of the time that I have been in conflict is because the other person doesn’t like me or they have a problem with who I am in respect to them. There are times where I cause the conflict; sometimes inadvertently and sometimes it’s because I made the rational decision to be an active part in the conflict.
Conflict is one thing that, when it happens or I am reminded of it, I get the biochemical reactions that are interpreted as feelings. This is something that people seem to not get: conflict affects me more than I let them think that it does. I instinctively tend to hide the emotions that are too strong or that seem to me to be irrational by the version of other people that is in my head’s standard. Brain data also shows that other humans do not accept/can’t handle it when I do show emotion. The result: I do everything in my power to not visibly show anyone the fullest extent of my emotions and what really causes me to feel deeply.
When conflict arises, I make a decision as to whether the conflict is worth engaging in or not. Most of the time, I decide to stay silent and just walk away. If I do engage, my engagement in a conflict happens without the other person’s knowledge because I am an introvert.
At times, I do consider that I should speak up and call the other person on their crap. This is something that happens rarely enough to cause shock to everyone, even me. The other thing that happens is that success rate for this course of action is 0.0%. Nothing changes from me speaking up; it just causes problems for me.
I am a person that desires and pursues peace in everything that I do. Most of my social interactions have had conflict embedded in them. This my mind has categorized as a normal part if human interaction, to the point that when there isn’t conflict I am shocked.