Last night, I was approached by an ESFJ and asked to participate in the singing of a hymn, Amazing Grace, that she wants to do in the church. She said that my voice was the most similar to the voice of the video that saw and presented to me. She sold it as if it had a surprise that other people liked.
When she made her approach, these things came to mind:
- How horrible the rehearsals were going to be. I might have a good singing voice, but I can’t seem to be able to control my voice very well and singing songs that other people wrote is hard for me to accomplish. This is the reason that I mainly sing my own material, and when I sing songs by other people I play the song myself.
- The voice wasn’t like mine.
- I would be working with an ESFJ. She doesn’t give the greatest impression. She has the uncanny ability to make me want to run away from her. I don’t hide it from her either; I just do it in the form of a joke. I just think that it’s better for everyone for us to not work together in such a direct manner.
- I don’t want to do this and go through the experience of having to carry out a vision that I don’t believe in. She is not representative of youth style, so her vision is… of someone that is middle aged. I wouldn’t find anything wrong with that if it’s portrayed in the right manner, but the way that she carries herself is indicative that she has some repressed desires that manifests itself in some unhealthy ways. I don’t want to deal with that.
- I’m a musician, you can’t tell me what I can and cannot play. When she talked about me singing it, I wondered what would happen with the drums because I was waiting for the drums to come in the song. She told me that I wasn’t going to play anything: bad idea.
- Where is the big surprise in the song? What’s so great about it?
She spoke about what she wanted to do: give the background of the hymn and then have young people sing it with her. I wasn’t impressed with the idea. It’s not us young people making the song our own. It’s her making young people sing it in the oldie style. To me it’s not something that will have the intended effect.
What really pissed me off what to know that she spoke to another young person in the church about it under the assumption that I will do it. Wasn’t I clear? I don’t want to be a part of it! What that did was make my “no” have more reason of being. This is the type of thing that brings out my “rebellious” nature of wanting to not do that which is ordered just to make a point clear. This ESFJ has no idea what she caused.