Recently, I made the brave decision to email the link to a post on this blog to my father on probation. I type brave because the action defied my philosophy of life compartmentalization. I keep things separate because I fear the consequences of showing someone the full picture of my life because of the subtle differences that can be noticed from one environment to the next. I prefer keeping the different images and perceptions of me separate.
So after I sent the link in the email, he responded better than I expected. He read and commented on some of the posts. A few church services later, he joked about reading my posts and realizing that He was the father on probation. Even with this positive reaction, I’m preoccupied of what could happen when (if) he sees the rest of the posts. I guess that it’s a faulty perception thing, or maybe a introverted trait.
I don’t regret the decision, I just don’t want an overly negative reaction. I don’t want to be mocked for who I am. I want to have a place to show myself in a healthy and non compartmentalized way.