I know that I did a blog post about my prayer life. I decided to do another one focusing on the particularities of the moment of prayer because I thought about it and because I feel that unconventional perspectives about Christian life that are biblical doctrine approved should see the light of day and be of benefit to others.
As an INTJ, I suck at praying. Prayer moments always compete for attention with my other mental thoughts. My mental thought tend to win. (Sorry God!)
I have a hard time getting a prayer to make sense when I am kneeling because I drift away so fast. Kneeling prayers, which usually happen at church, are often the most shallow prayers. I probably say that the prayer sucks an average of 3 times per prayer service.
The majority of my prayers end up as philosophical “discussions” with God… okay, so all I do is throw at God ideas about thoughts about things that interest me at the moment. I know that God will not say much, but I know that at least I put the idea out there for God to give me the answer at a more silent time.
I do have conversation with God in my mind while I’m going through the day, but it is also rather shallow in nature. Most of my more hardcore prayers happen when I’m lying down in bed before I sleep. There is just something about that environment that, at times, it motivates me to do all the prayer that I don’t do under other circumstances. It’s not a pretty prayer, but it’s more genuine in nature.
At times, though, the only time that I can concentrate in the prayer and get my thoughts out is by writing the prayer down. Sometimes I need to pray in the middle of service because something moved me emotionally and I can’t get it out of my head otherwise. It also allows me to think before I pray write. There are two reasons for that, I think:
- Because I have to phrase it correctly before I write, and
- Because I can see what I prayed and do a better analysis of the topic of prayer.
I think it’s a rather efficient form of prayer, but it has one disadvantage: Someone else can see it and find out my deepest thoughts. (That would really screw me over.)
INTJ prayers are diverse in nature. I have seen God move in interesting ways by my prayer. So I guess that the prayers are effective, at times. I know that God listens. I know that even thought most of my prayers would not fit the supposed standard of Christian prayer (and I think that they suck, as well), praying in this Christian INTJ manner is better and more effective than not praying at all.