Awaiting my moment to truly lead.

Beginning of 2013, I was at old San Juan, Puerto Rico with the Youth Group Director and three other youth group members that were not of the new generation. We were leaving the parking lot where the car was parked and the Director stated that she was going to leave the post soon and someone had to take their place. The other’s made it clear that they were not going to do it and proceeded to stare at me. I was the last one to be looked at, and I couldn’t say no. Since that time, I have gotten the intuition that I might have to take over the Youth Group leadership in the near future.

The fact is that I’m the only youth group member that fit the ideal demographic requirements (based on me, which is biased, I know) to replace her. I have over 10 years in the church as a believer, a member, and a youth group member. I can also provide at least 5 years of service and have the necessary independence to fulfill the role. I also have the studies to back up what I do.

I am currently awaiting something big to come to my life in terms of my calling. My intuition and my logic makes me think that is Youth Group related. Since this day, I have been contemplating the possibility of having to take over the responsibility of leading the Youth Group. Since then I have wondered what would that look like: what would I want it to look like.

A year, maybe two, ago I created a proposal of how would I lead the youth group. I had proposed to have a Coordinator for the 12-17 year youth and the 18+ youth. I also had other things, like a Evangelism Supervisor. A few months later, the Youth Group Director implemented the Coordinator system with the people that I had proposed in those positions. I only shared this with the one who is the 12-17 coordinator. God has a sense of humor when it comes to this type of thing. I was pissed off about this at the beginning because what I thought was being implemented and I wasn’t any part of it. Now, more than a year and a half later, I see the failure that this has become. I have become grateful that I wasn’t at the leadership position when this was implemented, cause that would have sucked for me.

Seeing the fruit of the implementation of my first proposal, I decided to see how that can be improved (very INTJ of me). The new proposal is taking into consideration the failure that the first implementation has and seeing how this can systematically be more efficient. I am trying to keep names out of the proposal this time, though in my mind there might be names on specific positions. This proposal is meant as a mental exercise more than anything else, but I still want to put my best ideas forward.

I know that I have inside me what it takes to lead the Youth Group to great things, but I am still considered a child in the church because the leadership of the church is incapable of seeing my real progress in the Lord. I am awaiting my moment to step up to leadership: the moment that God has determined that is my time to lead, truly lead. When will that be? I can’t say for the moment. All I can do is wait and pray to God that when the time comes I will be prepared to lead effectively and efficiently.


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