Ok. I am not willing to do this post because the topic is important to me. I actually don’t talk about my mother (nothing positive that I’m willing to say, really). However, because I did the “How many male parents do I have?” post, I decided to do the female version.
So for female parents the same semantic principles apply as for male parents. There’s three names for female parents: mother (madre), mom (mamá), and mommy (mami).
To be honest, I am weary of using these names because I do have a bias that works against female parental figures. I actually don’t call them differently as female parental figures.
My biological mother is mami (I’m using the Spanish term because I live in Puerto Rico and I use the Spanish term). I don’t deny that she is my mother because I don’t want to dishonor her (it’s the most I can do). The thing is that, as with any INTJ, how much weight a tittle has is dependent on what one does to deserve it. Therefore, if a parent (or anyone) royally screws up as a parent they loose respect and their tittle looses credibility and weight. Because of things that Mami has done in the past, her tittle is just that: a tittle.
Outside of my biological family, there have been several that have tried to fulfill that role. Out of them all, one made the cut and one is in probation. The one that made the cut was the Youth Group Director when I first started as a teenager in the youth group. She used the tittle with me before I used it with her. I gave her the female parent status in 2011 (our first interactions where in 2005). The tittle was Mami Puchy (given by her); I went along with it but never gave it importance. She left PR a year later to deal with her husband’s health issues. I felt that I lost a parent. In a way, I did.
The one that is in probation is the minister’s wife. She is… well, not a person that I would be around for a long time. It’s not that she’s a bad person, it’s just that the way that she comes across to people is not welcoming. Given her battle with cancer and multiple health conditions (many of them my biological mother has), I don’t blame her. I have seen how chronic pain and health problems that can change a person and I admire her attitude and the grace with which she faces her circumstances (I wouldn’t tell her that, though). The tittle, for now, is “madre en probatoria” (mother on probation). For her, the road to travel to change the tittle to being approved as a female parent is longer. This isn’t necessarily because of her. My biases will probably be the biggest obstacle she will have to face in order to gain the tittle.
So, in conclusion, how many female parents I have? Three: Mami, Mami Puchy, and Madre en probatoria.