Human connections with INTJs, such as myself, always starts with the likeness to the impression that the other gives during the first few interactions with them. As one interacts with an INTJ, there is a need to show not only whether the good impression one gave was true but to show worthiness from your part to establish a intellectual bond. It is from the intellectual bond (and time proving your worth to us INTJs) that other aspects of a dynamic can be incorporated. Again, the other non intellectual stuff, like human dynamic expectations, physical touch, etc., takes time to sow (and accept as a part of the foundations of a human connection.
In the mind of a non-INTJ, a human connection can happen instantly and everything gets sowed at the same time. For an INTJ, though, human connection takes time (a year to start)… and don’t get me started on putting a tittle on a human dynamic. Most people call an INTJ friend, father, mother, partner, etc. way before an INTJ does… if ever. It’s a very extreme version of the idea that a guy commonly will not say “I love you”, but when he does he means it.
I personally like the idea of an inner circle, a group of people that have earned a place in your mind. People that I trust, and trust me. People with whom I can have expectations and them fulfilling them; and they can do the same with me. People who have been tried (a lot) and have passed my trial process. People that have earned the privilege of my physical affection.
Of course, I do fear human connection because it is a vulnerable state. It exposes me to other people’s sucky whims. Yet it seems that something in my being is willing to take the risk of human connection.