I try to justify in my mind my treatment of a certain demographic of a population by telling myself that I treat all demographics the same way. Boy that’s a big lie that I have believed. Either that or it’s just no longer true.
The fact is that I don’t treat everyone the same. I have biases against women (it’s not a sexist thing, it’s just that women in and out of church have done more crap to me in the past than men and that makes the bias be evidenced-based in my mind). There are exceptions, but not enough to change the female bias. I treat my church male peers with distance because we don’t click. I don’t like kids. I just get along with the non-peer male population, and they get along with me.
There are certain things that I do across the board. There are other things with which I am more selective. I need to accept that as fact and embrace it as something that is more healthy than what people at church have tried to sell me that it is.