Last Saturday I was at a young adult group activity that was a 12 hour fast. I went there thinking that it was going to be 12 hours of not eating fulfilling my role as the youth group musician, and nothing else. I got there and I realized that I was the only person that could sing, adding to my “day of musical torture”.
We had three sermons that day.
The first sermon was given by my Sunday School teacher. After the first sermon, we did a prayer circle (I hate prayer circles because they involve holding hands). The preacher was praying and I was trying to listen. All of a sudden he says my name. When I heard my name, I immediately thought: Uh, oh (this is not going to be good). I knew that I had to listen carefully… and that I was going to have to fight my emotions.
Three topics were covered:
- My relationship with my mother (which he knows about, so no surprise there).
- My silent Christian life and my silent battles.
- My God-given intelligence and the need to share what comes out of my INTJness analysis with the church.
The one thing that I have to point out is that this God intervention happened before the women arrived. I will admit: I’m biased when it comes to women. I don’t consider them trustworthy with certain aspects of my life. There are some things about me that I would never expose to women, but I would expose them to men. So, because of that, I am grateful that God didn’t allow for the women that arrived to the 12 hour fast to get there until after this moment.
The second sermon was given by one of the female ministers of the church. After the second sermon, I had to play the piano. This meant that there was a high probability that I wasn’t going to get prayed for. Not like I wanted to, because the second preacher has a reputation of being… touchy (tocona in Spanish). After a while, I was with my head down in the piano when she prayed for me (thank God she kept her hands to my head). She also spoke about my silent battles. I can’t say with certainty if she spoke about my need to speak what I have to say, because it’s hard to listen well when there is a concern of having a bad prayer experience.
The third sermon was given by one of the evangelists of the church that is the leader and mentor to the new generation of young adults in my church. After the third sermon, he started praying for everyone. Again I was in music. I was asked by the coordinator if I wanted prayer. I replied yes. After a while, I was told to leave the piano and go to where the other’s were for prayer. The preacher wanted to sing, but the coordinator interrupted so that he could pray for me. During the prayer, the topics were:
- Music ministry prayer. (it’s a scapegoat prayer because of my ministry)
- My silent relationship with God.
- My silent battles.
- My God-given intelligence and wisdom which I use to seek God things.
- My need to not keep the results of my INTJness analysis to myself but to share them with the church.
I saw a pattern immediately. It also surprised me to see that the third preacher, who is super vocal and spiritually inclined, spoke about the goodness of my silent relationship with God. The awesome thing about this was that the first and third preachers were not present when the other was preaching. So there was no possible doubt that God wanted to make sure that I understood that the messages was from Him. It was a confirmation of what I knew in my mind I had to do (speak to the church about what I have learned from God).
I started to analyze this afterward to understand it fully and I thought of other activities where God had spoken.
- On another youth group activity, I was told by a female preacher from outside of the church that my calling was beyond music.
- In June 2013, there was a youth group retreat that lasted all weekend. On the Saturday afternoon service, a outside preacher was ministering to the youth while I was playing the guitar and singing. At one point, the preacher goes to pray for me. I was internally concerned that I wouldn’t be able to play and listen at the same time efficiently. He instantly told me to stop playing (thank God). Among the things that he told me was that I was in the church for a purpose, because I had to speak to them something. This was the moment that I knew that no matter how bad things got in my church I couldn’t leave because I had a purpose. After that service the preacher was told that I played multiple instruments, not just the guitar, and that made what he told me make more sense. But he has no idea that what he has saying to me had nothing to do with music. It had to do with what God was teaching me about Him and His word.
In the days after the 12 hour fast, I was reminded of all of this and how the messages were connected even though they were given over multiple years by different individuals.
I have wanted to do more than be a simple musician since an interaction I had with a fellow musician in 2010. I wanted to be of impact, to leave a legacy. I wanted to lead. I knew in my being that I was capable of much more than music: God had made me to become much more. As time went by, God has been confirming this idea and preparing me for what’s to come. I grow more certain with each of God’s interventions that my calling is beyond music.
It’s awesome to see how God systematically works. How intricate is His planning and execution of His plan. It’s awesome to see how your Christian life unfolds.