A “how are you doing” text or a “thank you for what you have done” or any feeling type text that comes from me is a rare commodity that is reserved for a select few and it’s something that I have to think of doing and make time for. This is because, as an INTJ, this doesn’t come naturally.
The impression that I have gotten from my environment is that I should be an extrovert, I should be more emotional (and actually show it), that I should be more considerate, and other things that goes against my being. There seems to be a culture that shames people for not being and representing these attributes. The guilt that this shaming causes sometimes leads me, at least, to try every once in a while to act the part. When I do everyone thinks that it’s the end of the world. Not many people appreciate this act from me, though.
In my adolescence these type of text would have never really happened (other than the fact that in my adolescence texting wasn’t as popular as it is today). I never took time to develop my feeling side in high school (I tried to deny their existence completely). I only started to pay attention to my feelings in a positive manner on my 20’s.
When I was a simple young person in the Lord, my acts of acting like everyone else were just to fake it. I never had friends and I never really cared about anyone. I was a selfish dick when it came to human dynamics. Now as a spiritual adult I have people that are genuinely important to me that I have genuine feelings and affection for. When I make time to flex my feelings muscle, these are the people that I direct those actions to. It’s no longer an act, though it is a exertion of energy. I sometimes demand (either externally or internally) that these actions get the appreciation that they deserve.