INTJs need alone time… a lot of alone time to recharge. At times though, we crave interaction with the social world. We will never let this through explicitly because then the world will cease to exist. However, we do crave the social interaction in a very INTJ way (or at least that’s what my biased brain thinks). We secretly wish to have the social interaction in low doses and in low doses of stimulation; a circumstance were we can feel a part of the interaction with the least required energy exertion from our part as possible. Ideally: we desire social interaction that has the only requirement of having to be present. We are happily content with sitting or standing in a corner listening to a conversation take its natural course without providing any input whatsoever, like a fly in the wall.
An activity that I like to partake in is score keeping at a male environment dominoes game (don’t know what it is, Google it). Why?
- They don’t talk much.
- The environment is a quietly competitive macho environment that I like.
- The only time I have to exert energy is when a round is over and the count the dots on the dominoes that were left on the players hand to determine how many points the winning team gets.
- It gives me a reason to be there.
- I’m useful.
It’s awesome! I get the human contact I sometimes desire under a non-contact context with minimal energy exertion from my part.
There always comes a moment, though, where I feel that this ideal is wrong because it’s not something I should not strive for. Someone always thinks that they should try to bring me to the dark side (#INTJproblems). I know instinctively and rationally that this is not wrong. I need quiet. I need low stimulation social situations. The only thing that is wrong with my reaction is that extroverted people are uncomfortable with my natural reaction and behavior.