John Paul Jackson, founder of streams ministries, said in a conference when he was 60 years old that when he was a young man he told his parents that he could not wait till he was 50 because when he got to be 50 he would finally had something to say and people would finally listen to him because of that. I was attracted to this idea because it implied that at some point in your life you would have enough information compiled, analyzed, and accessible in your mind to externalize at will that other’s could perceive as important, wise, and worthy of exposing themselves to.
Yet, I don’t want to wait that long to be considered wise or to feel that I have something meaningful and useful to say. As an INTJ, Wisdom, intelligence, and critical thinking skills, among other things, are much sought after qualities. Ever since I was 13-14 years old, I wanted to be wise and feel wise. I thought that I was achieving that at 14 and at 19 before I received a well deserved wake-up call from God implying that I ain’t got it yet.
For me, being wise was always part of what being cool was. I wanted to project wisdom and calmness, even if I didn’t have it. I wanted to have something important to say, but in my adolescence there wasn’t enough data in my mind for that to be true.
Now that I’m 18 days away from my 25th birthday, this thought hasn’t changed. Contrary to my adolescence though, I feel that I have something important to say, though it isn’t much. People that are older than me seek me out for my coolness. They value what I have to say and consider me worthy of exposure. People that are my age don’t see the same thing though. Those that are younger than me see some things that I do as cool, but not under the same context.
I still hope to be wise, maybe prove the Bible wrong with my wisdom ;). I hope that my INTJness will get me closer to being wise and feeling wise. I hope to have something better and more profound to say in the future, as I learn more and able to integrate the acquired data. For now, I can appreciate my progress and look to pursue higher wisdom and greater intellectual content that will be appreciated by the people that God knows that I can influence.