My interactions with the human species can be categorized in two phases. The first occurred in my childhood and adolescence. The second started when I became an adult. In my mind, I became and adult legally at 21 years of age, but in God’s eyes I became an adult at 22 years (January 2013).
When I was younger, certain things were true (or at least this is what I perceive):
- I hadn’t walked into who I am. I was acting as someone I was not.
- I was led to belief that who I was was unacceptable and that I had to suppress those qualities that were shown to be wrong (i.e. everything that I was and stood for).
- No one really wanted to be with me voluntarily… or at least that’s what I thought.*
- No one had any positive expectations of me.*
- People wanted to change me.
- I was selfish in choosing who I associate myself with.
- Most of the people around me were sucky people.
- I was not understood.
*There are two exceptions: in a classmate from school, though I am not certain of that today, and a person from my church.
Now that I’m an adult the reality is different:
- There are people that don’t want to be with me voluntarily.
- There are people that seek to be with me.
- I have expectations from those people that seek to be with me.
- Those people who seek to be exposed to what I have to offer expect things from me.
- I am appreciated for my uniqueness by those that seek to be with me.
- I chose who I associate myself with not necessarily because I will get something out of them, but because I can see that they are being benefited by being exposed to me.
- I am treated without judgement by these accepting people.
- I know and accept who I am and what I stand for.
When I started to experience human interactions as an adult I started to experience real human dynamics for the first time. It was a new and exiting experience. I saw what being an adult really is and I liked it. I felt responsible. I saw that it was something to take seriously and that I needed to find the balance of allowing myself to feel the emotions and sensations of what a human dynamic is while using my intuition and thinking function to maneuver these new human dynamics in a healthy and positive way.
It did feel weird, though. I was weird to me because I was being perceived as a valued person who had something to say and contribute (something that hadn’t happened before). I was also being perceived as someone that was better to hang out with than many of the youth group and adult members in my church. I was told that those personality traits that were shown to be unacceptable in my youth when they first appeared were the things that made me a person worthy of being exposed to.
I do have to admit that the people that I tend to associate myself with are older than me (way older), but even the people were my age when I became an adult started to show this pattern.
So in summary, what happens to an INTJ (me, in this case) when he/she finds him/herself seeked out by others?
- I noticed.
- I thought it through.
- I saw it as good.
- I embraced it.
- I felt weird, though.
- I started to learn from this new experience on how to better my human interactions under the new context.