I am perceiving that I made a mistake in the development of a future musician of my church. I realize that I have to do something now to correct it. I tried to get leadership backing in my youth group to do so and she said that she understood where I came from, but not now. It makes me see how alone I really am in developing future musicians.
I tried to get leadership backing because I knew that I was going against the current of the church’s organizational culture and I needed this backing to ensure the sustainability of what I know that I need to do. The attempt to do is another piece of data that shows me that I cannot count on them and that they will do what is necessary to keep the crappy status quo.
What this makes me think is that church wants me to think that the best thing for me to do is to not give a crap about future musician development. I know that this is a wrong mentality to have, but it seems to be the path of least resistance. God won’t like it and neither do I, but what I see is that if they aren’t deserving of this type of energy from me.
What the leaders don’t see is that what they are promoting, the inadequate training of future musicians, is damaging to both the trainee and the current musicians alike. I see this, because I am an INTJ. Others don’t (which to me means that they suck). This is bad.