Knowing that something is wrong with how you think.

As I have matured (or tried to), I start to realize that there is something fundamentally wrong with the way that I sometimes think. I feel that I have something ingrained in my thought process that is an obstacle to fulfill my personal, professional, and spiritual potential. It gets activated by certain situations, like having to do something that I have been shown that I’m incapable of doing or by statements that people say.

When I express this feeling, I usually get two responses:

  1. You are crazy/ people deny the existence of this feeling.
  2. You just have to make it stop.

Both responses are useless; none solve the problem. They also show how incompetent people really are. The closest thing that I got from someone was my ex-therapist that tried to show me that I just needed different thoughts to counteract the current ones. I thought that there was a flaw in this solution. My question always was which thoughts should I use to counteract the false ones.

When I analyze other situations where I was able to counteract false thoughts with facts, I find that both the false thought and the fact are based on the database that’s in my mind. This means that I need data that indicates what is the truth and what is not, something that few understand. What I realize is that my ex-therapist wasn’t far from the solution, just that he didn’t use the right words for me to accept it.

What I need data that is consistent with the truth. I need someone to tell me and show me what is truth and what isn’t. I need someone who is as close to objective as I could find. Then and only then can the process of changing my thought process can be done effectively.


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