Today I celebrate 27 years of life. Usually, one month before my birthday I analyze how my life has been and determine where I want to go for the next year. This year has been different. I haven’t really set time to do this.
I do think about where I am and where I want to go consistently, so it’s not a big whoops that I didn’t do my usual birthday time analysis. Yet, I should take time to think about my life… and drink my free birthday Starbucks frap.
This was my first year of employment. I already did a blog post about what I learned. It was a new phase in my life. It really changed what my priorities are in life because I gained a more realistic perspective.
With the employment came the surfacing of the fact that I am very frugal with money. I realized that I think about things in terms of cost and cost effectiveness. It’s not that I didn’t have that mentality before my first job. This mentality just became more explicit with the incoming salary.
As a Christian, I feel that I’m getting older and that I still haven’t stepped into the fullness of my calling. Looking back, I wonder if I have not reached my full potential as a young person. I am in a church structure that restricts member growth past baptism, which doesn’t help. The ministries that I have I had to take because no one vouched for me to get where I am at. I know that my calling is more than music and yet I am still stuck in music inside the church structure.
The biggest thing that I found out was that even though I had been a Christian for more than half of my life (I gave my life to Jesus at the age of 13 years and 2 months) I am still broken and need to be transformed by the Holy Spirit.
My family life is still as dysfunctional as ever. I have always ended up with the mentality that the best thing for me is to find a new family that is more suited to what I need. It’s all about perspective and acceptance of what the reality is. No one will be the ideal as family, because no one except Jesus can know the thoughts of your mind.
Personally, I am okay. I am better than I was a year and a half ago. My mental state has improved with every passing year because of what God did. There is still work to do, but I can look back and see all that God has done and how better my life is because of Him.
Where I want to go: I want to better determine what further studies will be better for what God wants me to do. I want to be able to balance work, studies, and church responsibilities. I know that God will help with that. I want to get a better job than what I have had. I want to be able to live comfortably economically speaking. I want to find a job that will be an outlet for all of my abilities, passions, and strengths… and allow me to work on my weaknesses. I want to keep walking the Christian walk. I want to live a full Christian life.